Contract Rider
written by: Jak Locke

from Bloom (June 4th 2002) (2:31)
I don’t have enough cash to pay you for that meal, my friend
There you go, kicking me out the restaurant again
That’s all right, that’s all right, can I see an application?
I’d like to work where you are, gimme money give me a car
Give me a house, give me a woman, give me two
Give me a better guitar, give me singing lessons
And then I want some beer
And a tour bus and give me a band and lots of drugs
I need a cell phone to keep in touch with the drug lord
And a jet plane, private airliner and I want the White House
And the Capitol and um, the Pentagon too so I can collect all three
The world, everybody’s gonna follow me on the news cameras
And they’re gonna take pictures of me
And there gonna be things in your newspaper every week, you know, update on where I’m at
Be there just to see me just to be like
“Wow, guess what I saw him, he’s so cool, he gave me a pencil and I’ve got it
And it’s his monogram” and that’s another thing I want
I want monogrammed pencils
The little brass thing that holds the eraser up against the uh the wood part of the pencil
I want that so I can give those out
So people can have proof that they saw me
And then what’s gonna happen, you like those kind of things
Keep on updating every week and uh you’re gonna watch that
And it’s gonna be really spectacular phenomenal
I’m gonna be Charles Lindbergh except minus all the scandals
It’s gonna be I’m a hero, yeah and then um, uhm
Uh just give me an application

never performed live