2017 Feb 01 The Junkyard Capital genre: fiction, comedy, satire The Wind In The Willows meets Watergate
2011 Jul 12 Paint! genre: comedy 11 pages This will either be the stupidest thing you've ever seen or the most awesome. There's only one way to find out which.
2010 Jun 15 Lock Yourself Inside #4: Date genre: comedy 9 pages Has our misanthropic insomniac finally found love? Don't count on it.
2010 May 06 Vista & Me: A Book For Reading genre: comedy 16 pages A children's book about frustration and technology. NOTE: Please don't actually let children read this.
2010 Apr 07 Lock Yourself Inside #3: Brawl genre: comedy 13 pages Farks tries to pull a fast one and the situation escalates quickly.
2006 Jun 20 Lock Yourself Inside #2: Screaming Mira genre: surreal 2 pages Some neighbors can be so inconsiderate.
2006 Jun 13 Lock Yourself Inside #1: Jury Duty genre: comedy 1 page The one-pager that started the series, actually drawn at jury duty.
CRITIQUES / REVIEWS
2014 Nov 01 Monthly Midnight Movie ExchangeJewel of the Gods genre: movie review Noel and I briefly go into our very different experiences with this off-off-brand Raiders of the Lost Ark clone that has about as tenuous a link with The Gods Must Be Crazy as may be possible, though that didn't stop them from marketing it as some kind of tie-in.
2014 Oct 25 Monthly Midnight Movie ExchangeThe Gods Must Be Crazy Part 5 genre: movie review This time N!xau learns Chinese and things go completely off the rails. Join me and Noel as we see how far a property can drift from its origins.
2014 Oct 19 Monthly Midnight Movie ExchangeThe Gods Must Be Crazy Part 4 genre: movie review N!xau goes to urban China and here's where the series gets bad. Really, really bad. In a world full of terrible things, this movie's a terrible way to spend 90 minutes, so just spend a few minutes reading me and Noel's takes on why and thank us for the savings later.
2014 Oct 11 Monthly Midnight Movie ExchangeThe Gods Must Be Crazy Part 3 genre: movie review In which the zany but otherwise reality-grounded series takes a hard right turn into hopping vampires and kung fu possessions. Wait, what? Noel and I will explain.
2014 Apr 12 The Super Saturday Short-Lived ShowcaseBattletoads genre: game review I guest for a few paragraphs about what worked and didn't work about Rare's Battletoads for NES before Noel and Tony go deep into the franchise's failed bids for cartoon and comic relevance.
2013 Dec 01 Monthly Midnight Movie ExchangeThe Last Dragon genre: movie review It's my pick again and I choose a movie that I only thought I remembered. Noel, Angie and I weigh in on expectations, delivery and The Glow.
2013 Nov 01 Monthly Midnight Movie ExchangeBMX Bandits genre: movie review This month Noel picks another BMX-themed film, except this time it's from Australia and has a very different story to tell. Angie and I try to make sense of it.
2013 Oct 01 Monthly Midnight Movie ExchangeFreaked genre: movie review Angie picks a maximum-90s movie that may break the meter for attempted jokes per minute. Does it land with me and Noel?
2013 Sep 01 Monthly Midnight Movie ExchangeLeonard Part 6 genre: movie review This month my pick was Leonard Part 6, and don't I wish it wasn't. Oh don't we all wish it wasn't. Woof.
2013 Aug 01 Monthly Midnight Movie ExchangeRad genre: movie review Noel's -- oh, I mean Tony's pick for this month is a movie about competition and overcoming underdog odds, certainly untapped ground for an 80s film. Oh wait, this one's about BMX so that makes it totally different, right? Cue the montage and let's find out.
2013 Jul 01 Monthly Midnight Movie ExchangeMatango genre: movie review This month's pick of Angie's is a Japanese film. It heavily features mushrooms, evokes both Gilligan's Island and Alien, and it ends with a nuclear explosion. One of those three statements is a lie, and it's not the one you probably think it is.
2013 Jun 01 Monthly Midnight Movie ExchangeKrull genre: movie review There's 1/3 of a great film in my pick for this month, chosen completely off the mystique I remember from its Atari 2600 adaptation from when I was a small kid. We see how it stacks up to what I imagined it must be, as well as Noel and Angie's takes on this scifi fantasy mashup.
2013 May 01 Monthly Midnight Movie ExchangeGunhed genre: movie review I don't wish to spoil my take on this movie, Noel's pick for the month, so I'll just say that I loathed it. Oh, whoops. At least I didn't reveal that Angie hated it too. Read why we had such a bad time of it and what Noel saw in it.
2013 Apr 01 Monthly Midnight Movie ExchangeGuyver: Dark Hero genre: movie review At some point while watching, I thought "You know, this doesn't look bad for an 80's flick." Later, I found out it was made in 1994. Oh. See what else Noel and I thought of Angie's pick for the month in my debut on The Monthly Midnight Movie Exchange.
started: 2020 Aug 09 The Cowboy genre: musician's website In January 2019, Miles "The Cowboy" Spencer sang at an open mic night and got 9 seconds of applause. This was all the sign he needed to finally start chasing his dream of being a country star. He signed up for a Facebook page and started posting about his journey to stardom. What followed was two years of tracking his unlikely journey -- against all odds he played a show, built a band, and recorded an album. But we're getting ahead of ourselves here. It's all told in his own words and videos at his website, now with 100% less Facebook. Saddle up and let's see where that trail took him.
started: 2013 Nov 04 Abrupt Analysis Arcade genre: game reviews Started on Twitter, Abrupt Analysis Arcade is a collection of game reviews in 140 characters or less. This format forces me to get right to the point about what a game is and what I thought about it, especially since the game's title also figures into the 140 character count. Mostly indie and retro games will be covered here, since that's what I play the most of but you'll see some bigger recent titles here and there too.
started: 2012 Sep 04 Targeted genre: movie website The Targeted project was a series of western short films shot by a crew largely consisting of first-timers to filmmaking with a focus on seeing how much could be accomplished with as small of a budget as possible. This website was the main source of updates, links and media during its production.
2006 Apr 29 Banjo genre: band website The project that refuses to die, Banjo is a band that was formed to do one birthday show that just keeps existing for some reason. This is from its early days when it was still a live act, tons of pictures and poorly hidden pages to find if you can get past the cluster headache-inducing color scheme (no, I'm never changing it.)
2004 Dec 12 Retail Veteran's Day genre: non-event chronicle A fun idea that turned into a waste of time for everyone involved, maybe even you.
2004 Dec 12 Realm of Impossibility shrine genre: video game atlas I made this one weekend in 2004. It's got maps of every dungeon, monster stats, and trivia about various things in this game from 1984.
2003 - 2019 web design Websites I've designed and coded for others
2001 - 2023 JakLocke.com Time Machine When I retire a site design, I move the code of its Updates page to this junk drawer so you can see what it looked like at that time. Be warned: some of these, particularly the older ones, may not display nicely or even coherently on that fancy modern browser and device of yours. Even if they do, a lot of the links and images will be broken as there's little if any maintenance I do with these once they've been outmoded and archived. But if you're all in for a potentially janky trip to old news and what this site used to look like through the years, here's your off-ramp.
BOOK The Junkyard Capital Fiction - Comedy - Satire
published February 1st 2017
"The Wind In The Willows meets Watergate."
Senator Aphid only wanted to improve his country, though after four years in the District of Laws he really should have known better. He's removed from office and soon grudgingly finds himself paired with Frog Dell, the reckless and self-indulgent hermit of the junkyard.
As the two evade the wrath of a government run amok with corruption, dissension spreads through the public, and conspiracy reigns. What role does psychiatrist and part-time inventor Weasel McKenzie play in the upcoming Archministry election? How does front-runner candidate and acclaimed playwright J. Thomas Capra plan to fix the broken nation? Who's being stalked by merciless bounty hunter Jack Dingo? Why is Dead Fish wandering an empty version of the world?
The pressure escalates quickly in this twisting, zany, fast-paced and subversive satire that, like real politics, requires (and prefers) absolutely no prior political knowledge.
Written by Jak Locke
Cover art by Bradley Medina
SHORT STORY Megaman and The Black Twist: A Canon Fanfic bad on purpose
published August 27th 2013
No, honest, it's been approved by Capcom and everything, for real.
SHORT STORY The Wet Food: A Creepypasta by L.T. clumsy horror by a cat
published August 20th 2013
A ghoulish fate can await those who only sate and not consider what they ate... oh man this is really bad.
BLOG Three Bullet Pointz reconnecting with an old friend publicly
updated from January 18th 2013 through July 7th 2013
Jak and Mandey went to college together in southern Louisiana over a decade ago. In college, Jak had bright blonde hair and made weird songs. In college, Mandey wore JNCOs and played with Gigapets. Today, Jak is a musician in New Orleans. Today, Mandey lives hundreds of miles away in North Carolina and owns a pool hall. This is basically all they currently know about each other. Jak and Mandey have not seen each other in over ten years, but have decided to reconnect through a series of bulleted informational tidbits, and have decided you can be privy to them.
BLOG Wiracocha's Cyberpage or Whatever emails to a jerk in the 90s
updated from March 1st 2013 through May 28th 2013
In 2012 it was discovered that emails sent to the address firstname.lastname@example.org are received in the past at some point in the mid-to-late 1990s! The potential ramifications of this were immediate and mindboggling: the timeline could change! Disasters and catastrophes could be averted or prepared for just as easily as they could be caused by abusing this incredible quantum anomaly. As the scientists involved soon found out, sometimes temporal anomalies choose poorly.
BLOG 1011001 Ways To Not Change The World journal
updated from December 5th 2012 through March 12th 2013
In which I post weblogs to the internet. Now with 100% less LiveJournal!
SITE DESIGN WORK Jak Locke has designed the following websites for others:
Pyramid FX Special effects portfolio & gallery designed 2019 VISIT:
Duration Motors Used car lot designed 2012 no longer online
Simon Mabile Photography Photographer portfolio designed 2011 no longer online
Hungover Outlaws Band website designed 2006 no longer online
Nebulous Band website designed 2003 no longer online
Streetside Professionals Consultation firm websit designed 2003 no longer online